Completely Clueless
by Mrs.Almost.Cullen
Summary: Meet Bella, she's looking for love and she's sure she's found him.Terrified she's going lose him she calls in the help of cocky babe magnetEdward. Will an unlikely love blossom between them or are they destined forother things? R&R Possible Lemons.


This is my first story I've written in a loooooong time. Reviews would be really appreciated!

**_FULL SUMMARY.  
_Meet Bella. A 20 year old woman seeking the perfect man. She found him, now all she has to do is keep him. Terrified that she will scare him off she calls in the help of Edward Cullen a cocky babe-magnet. Will an unlikely love blossom between the pair of them, or is Bella destined to be single. Possible Lemons! R&R :D**

**_Bella_**

"I want you Bella" A completely gorgeous, topless Brad Pitt was making his way towards me, holding his hand out. By the time he'd reached me he was softly caressing my cheek.

I leaned into his touch, sighing in content.

He barked quietly, before kneeling down and jumping onto my knees, in an animalistic way. I bent down beside him to be close to his soft warm fur, and I smiled as he licked my nose softly...

Wait? _What?_

My eyes flashed open revealing the only male figure that would ever completely understand and listen to me. Jacob, my small little chocolate labradour puppy.

I sighed in disappointment before looking towards the clock. It was half 6 in the morning. I made a groaning noise before leaving my warm bed sheets and putting my silk dressing gown and fluffy cartoon bunny slippers on. I let out an un intentional yawn as I zombie walked to the bathroom. I did the morning ritual like all people, I brushed my teeth, glad to be rid of my horrible morning breath before hopping in the shower. I will admit I can take my time in the shower, by the time I was out it was already 7.

"Dammit..." I muttered under my breath.

I quickly fished through my draws picking out some tights a bra and my knickers that had the word 'Monday' sewn into it in a pretty blue curly font. Okay, I don't get why people have a problem with people who wear pants with the days of the week on, but still nonetheless no-one knew of my hidden stash of weekly pants.

Like usual I spent the time getting changed thinking too much. This morning it was about how people would bring something like that into conversation. I felt slightly better after. I mean, if I told no-one my pants had the days of the week on them surely other people did the same thing, right?

This made me smile, and I instantly felt much better about myself.

As I made my way out the hall I noticed my room mate, Rosalie was still asleep. But she wasn't on her own. Emmett, a builder who had been working on our building for the past month over a leaky roof in the apartment upstairs was with her and was holding her tightly in an embrace. My heart sank as I watched the show. I really hoped one day, one day. I Bella Swan would have someone like that to wake up to in the morning. Okay maybe not someone like Emmett, I mean the mans massive! I would want someone lean, and tall and dark.

During the whole cab ride I occupied my mind with thinking about my perfect man.

Luckily for me right outside my work building there is a massive starbucks, i ended up ordering two large Caramel Macchiato's one for me, and one for my best friend and colleague Alice.

I made my way through the foyer smiling and saying hello were appropriate, when I saw _him._

I stopped dead in my tracks causing a few busy people rushing by to 'tut.' But right now? I couldn't give a care in the world about them, I was too busy staring at him. He must be new? Surely I would have seen him before now.

My eyes raked up and down his body, and I went through a mental check list for my dream guy...  
-Tall _check.  
_-Dark _check._  
-No facial hair _check.  
_-Powerful. I looked closely, he had cufflinks on and was shaking lots of peoples hands, his suit also looked designer, perhaps Armani. I guess he had to be part of Carlisles team. _ check.  
_-Not married. I paused to look on his hand. YES. _Check._

"WOO!" I practically screamed. But my face expression soon changed as I gasped in horror as he turned around and met my eyes. Oh My God. His eyes! They were deep brown, so intriguing.

He was beginning to look at me like I was mentally dysfunctional. Oh yeah. I had just kinda screamed in public.

He was looking at me questioningly with one perfect eyebrow raised before he quickly turned his head to the important looking man next to him, patted his shoulder, smiled, then started approaching me.

A normal person would have waited for him to approach and explain why they had just shouted out a big 'WOOP' in the middle of an important buisness foyer, but nope. Not me. I dont know why I did what I did next. But I ran.

Thats right.

I ran. All the way over the opposite lift and began pressing the button repeatadly in hope that it would speed up the arrival. There were over forty floors in this building, the elevator could take ages to turn up. I was starting to get all panicky when I felt a cool smooth hand touch my shoulder. I quickly jerked around in shock, elbowing the person I really didn't want to see right now.

"Oh shit! Sorry! You shocked me I'm so sorry! Is there anything I ca-" I stopped my rambling as soon as he looked up from clutching his chest.

Could my life get any worse?

Yes. Yes it could apparently.

"Seriously, it's fine. dont worry about it" I still felt bad and I could feel my cheeks heating up. "I think you dropped this..." He said, handing me the flyer I had picked up. "Uhh.." He glanced at it. "I think it's an invitation or something?" He looked at it again. "Oh my mistake it's a flyer for... speed dating" I looked towards the ground, secretly begging it to open up and swallow me in one. Why had I picked that leaflet up!?

My cheeks felt like fire as I pretended to be confused at the piece of paper he was trying to give me...

"Oh, um thanks..." I paused, waiting for him to reveal his name, before scrunching the flyer up into a ball and throwing it towards the bin. It of course missed, and I spotted a woman trip over it. Luckily for me though, this handsome man didn't notice. I turned back round trying to ignore the bunch of people starting to crowd around the elderly woman who had slipped. Was he going to ever tell me his name?

"Bond. James Bond" I let out a loud snort, before full on laughing.

He looked completely serious and was looking directly at me like I was completely retarded. "No... seriously. Thats my name." I was horrified when I detected no humour on his face.

Shit.

Then I remembered. Carlisle, my boss, had an important buisness meeting today with Bond Brothers co. Please tell me this was a different James Bond. Throughout all the ser

I had been waiting on this meeting for 6 months now. I was Carlisles Personal Assistant and we were both hoping that after this meeting I would get to move to New York to help manage a new branch which would merge Bond Brothers co. and Cullen incoporated together. There was absolutely no chance in hell I was going to get that job now, In the few mere minutes I had spoken to him, he had given me back a flyer on speed dating I had dropped, I had sworn at him, elbowed him in the chest, and completely offended him.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry! I thought you were joking you had this expression on your face, and you said it just like in the bond films and..." I could tell he was getting annoyed with my overuse of speaking so I just stopped. Then took some deep breaths.

"I'm sorry Mr.B-B-Bond." I managed to stutter. Words cannot describe how much effort was put into me not laughing at the moment.

He looked at me strangely one more time before nodding and walking away.

I let out a massive breath I didn't realise I was holding but ended up choking on thin air.

Just as my coughing fit was over a small _ding_ signaled that the elevator was here. People filed off of the elevator, most of them in their forties. Eventually me and three other people walked into the elevator before a tall bronze haired man in front of me pressed a button for floor 34, the same floor as me, another short balding man with a moustache pressed the shiny button that said 16 and then the doors closed.

The bronze haired man turned around, and stared at me for a while. I could see his eyes keep flickering over towards me. There was something about him that I recognised from somewhere. I thought long and hard before deciding it must just be coincidence.

"Exscuse me Miss. Do you have the time?" He asked in a smooth velvety toned voice.

"Oh, yeah, it's..." I paused to look at my watch, balancing my coffees in the other hand. Just gone eight" I said smiling.

He didn't look at all phased, but looked at me as if he was expecting me to do something.

"Um, is there anything else?" I asked confused.

His eyes looked angered for a mere moment before they softened and he replied. "Actually. Yes. Yes there is. I'm visiting my Father. It's the first time I've been here, I know he's on floor 34 but I have no idea where abouts his office is..."

"Oh right, well whats his name? I work on this floor I might know him" I smiled.

"Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen" I didn't like the way he said 'Cullen.' He sounded _way _to cocky and over confident and rather smug. Did he seriously think that because his Dad owned a massive company, that people would think he was as successful? Well, I hadn't ever seen him around here before. If anything, I was kind of _unimpressed._

"Oh! Carlisle, yeah, I know him." His eyes flickered with an emotion I couldn't quite pin point. "I'm his PA, I can show you if you like?"

Fire burned in his eyes, as I said the letters 'PA' and I could tell he was thinking of the best way to reply. His eyes were as cold as a winters night in Russia when he finally answered.

"Right. That explains a lot. If you could just point me in the right direction that would be great." He said it so coldly. Had I done something wrong?

* * *

**_Edward_**

I guessed this was 'Bella' then. My father had admitted to Elizabeth, my mother, not long ago that he had in fact cheated on her with a close colleague. I tried to look into it by asking a friend at the building to spy on him. I distinctly remember a girl named 'Bella' at the top of the list. According to my friend, Carlisle was actually quite distant from people in the work area, but seeing as Bella was his PA, it was her, he was most around. I knew I probably shouldn't have been so cold on the girl, but if this was her then I hated her. If she was the cheating whore my Father fucked, I dont know what I would do. Words can't describe my pain when my Parents split up.

Judging by her cute little doe eyed face, she had noticed my anger. I didn't like cheaters. And I didn't like the fact I was attracted to this woman, who could have possibly done the dirty with my Dad. Gross. And to think I had been trying to chat her up just moments ago.

I didn't honestly know what I should be more annoyed at, my father for getting in there first, or my father cheating on Mum.

I sighed. Looking over to her again. She looked kind of confused why I was being so cold on her but simply 'mmmed' in respose to my reply.

A quiet '_ding'_ told us that we were on the right floor and as soon as the large metal doors slid open I raced out before realising I didn't have a _clue_ where I was going.

"He's just over here" She said quietly walking towards a large oak door.

"Thanks, I think I can find it from here." I said harshly.

"Right. Of course." She said before making her way to a wooden desk just outside the large door to my Fathers office. She looked kind of upset and her eyes looked slightly watery.

I could see the blinds in my fathers office were up at the moment and Carlisle was curtly waving to Bella, she grinned and waved back before unpacking her stuff. It pained me that he was able to get a smile like that out of her so quickly when all I did was make her sad.

I felt myself getting hot with anger, and I decided to try and get this over with now. I took a breath before storming through the door.

The first thing I saw was shocked face which later crumpled, looking towards me sadly. I shut the door behind me before closing the blinds. This needed to be private.

"Hello Carlisle"

"Long time no speak Edward... How are you?" I hadn't spoken to him since the split 4 months ago, I tended to avoid him as much as possible so I could tell that my unannounced visit had taken him by suprise.

"Oh, me? I'm fine. " I said coldly.

"So, I'm guessing your not here for a nice friendly chat?" He said simply,

"I need to know who the bitch you cheated on Mum with is." I said bluntly. A small frown took over his face as he stood up and walked 'round the desk.

"Not this again, please Edward. It's over, but please don't talk about her like that." He frowned. "She had no idea."

"I dont give a shit if it's over! I need to know who this home-wrecking WHORE is!" I yelled.

"I'm not saying a word Edward, if thats what you've come to talk about. Your wasting your time. I'm sorry son. Please stop calling her names...you don't know her" He said quietly. I'd never seen him so upset.

"Is it Bella?" I said softly.

I saw his eyes widen, and he answered very quickly. "Heavens no! How do you know Bella?"

"Answered that pretty quick there Dad."

"It's not Bella, I swear! I'm old enough to be her father!" I chuckled darkly, but I couldn't tell if he was lying or not. "But son, I know you. Don't mess with Bella. She's lovely, she deserves better than your ways."

It was my turn to be speechless. "I only just met the girl in an elevator! I only know her name through someone else" I was fuming. "What do you mean, she deserves better than my ways! Well Dad, it takes one to know one!" I yelled before walking over to the window trying to contain my anger.

"You asked someone to spy on me didn't you." He said disappointed.

"Yes. What other choice did I have?" I said, why was I feeling ashamed? I hadn't cheated.

"Son... I know the last couple of months have been hard... but the woman I slept with. She isn't here anymore. She left as soon as she found out I was married. I fucked up everything, and I'm sorry. But theres something you need to know." I waited patiently. "Mine and your mothers marriage was over a long time ago. We tried to make it work, for you, and Emmett but we couldn't lie anymore." I took this all in.

"But you couldn't keep it in your pants until after you'd split up?" I spat out angrily.

"Look Edward, that was a mistake, your right. And If I could go back and wait. I would. But I cant and what's happened has happened and you need to deal with it. Me and your Mother are."

"Fine." I said smoothly. "I just wish you'd told me sooner... me and Emmett could only think the worst of you after... well you know."

He nodded understandingly. "Edward, theres one more thing I needed to ask you..."

"Go on..." I said hesitantly.

"I want to help you sort your life out. I am your Father after all..." He paused deciding how to word his next sentence. "You have no job, your life revolves around drink and women. It's about time you got a job."

"Dad, you know I don't need a job. Financially were fine."

He chuckled. "C'mon Edward. It's about time you started earning a living instead of living of my earnings."

"Fine Dad, I'll look for a job or something..."I lied.

"Edward. I meant I would give you a job here..." He said answering my unspoken question.

"What would I have to do?" I said. Did I really want to end my party years? I had only just turned 23.

"You would help manage the company with me. You were so clever in school, I want this buisness to stay in the family, and now Emmett's got his career and life sorted out. It's your turn."

"Dad, are you sure?"I choked out. He nodded, smiling.

Woah, this visit had taken a turn.

* * *

**So what did you think? :S**

**I wasn't too sure on it, but I wanted to give this whole fanfiction thing a go. Sorry if it dragged on a bit, and sorry if I made tons of grammer mistakes. :(**

**Just give me time :D**

**Ahaa, BTW, the whole knickers with the days of the week on it were completely NOT my idea lmao.**

**My friend Steph thought that up, she kind of helped me write the funny-ish bits to this chapter so...**

**THANKYOU STEPH!!! :D**

**Unless of course you don't like it, in which case...**

**THANKS FOR NOTHING STEPH!!! D:**

**I'm still also not sure if this story will be ExB or something different, so get reviews in on what you thought :D**

**CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM WOULD BE GREAT :D**

**I love me some mean, harsh reviews. :D**


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